Signs You Have A Lousy English Teacher by Zack Dehnhardt (a.k.a. Bezerika14)
- Thinks Shakespeare is a weapon.
- Reads books so far below your level, it's almost insulting.
- Yells at you for numbering your journals with numbers such as "eleventy-six" and "thirty-twelve".
- Implements disciplinary tools such as "time-outs", "good citizenship stars" and "warm fuzzies". Ugh...
- Dresses like the Grim Reaper come Finals Week.
- Applauds a student for correctly spelling "demonstrate" and then proceeds to bite your head off for misspelling "pneumonaultramicroscopicsilicovocaniconeosis". And odds are, I still spelled it wrong.
- Integrates certain mechanics of literature (maybe something about, oh, I don't know, maybe... heroes?) into not only every section of the curriculum, but also into every waking moment of his life. (I mean, really, can't you think of something else?)
- Forces you to write retarded journals about things like "Signs You Have A Lousy English Teacher" just to see how many times you can morally insult him. I mean, come on, there isn't a single one there!
Oh, and I made a bet with someone that if anyone reads this, my friend owes me fifty bucks. And since you are obviously reading this, John is now the poorest guy in school.
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